Act 3, page 1

Table of Contents

ACT III SCENE II� Setting: A hall in the castle.

[Enter HAMLET and Players]

HAMLET Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue: but if you mouth it, as many of your players do, I had as lief the town–crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently; 5 for in the very torrent, tempest, and, as I may say, the whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it offends me to the soul to hear a robustious periwig–pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to 10 very rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who for the most part are capable of nothing but inexplicable dumbshows and noise: I would have such a fellow whipped for o'erdoing Termagant; it out–herods Herod: pray you, avoid it. 15 First Player I warrant your honour. HAMLET Be not too tame neither, but let your own discretion be your tutor: suit the action to the word, the word to the action; with this special observance o'erstep not the modesty of nature: for any thing so overdone is 20 from the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the first and now, was and is, to hold, as 'twere, the mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time his form and pressure. Now this overdone, 25 or come tardy off, though it make the unskilful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; the censure of the which one must in your allowance o'erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be players that I have seen play, and heard others 30 praise, and that highly, not to speak it profanely, that, neither having the accent of Christians nor the gait of Christian, pagan, nor man, have so strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them 35 well, they imitated humanity so abominably. First Player I hope we have reformed that indifferently with us, sir. HAMLET O, reform it altogether. And let those that play your clowns speak no more than is set down for them; 40 for there be of them that will themselves laugh, to set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh too; though, in the mean time, some necessary question of the play be then to be considered: that's villanous, and shows a most pitiful ambition 45 in the fool that uses it. Go, make you ready.

[Exeunt Players][Enter POLONIUS, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN]

	How now, my lord! I will the king hear this piece of work?
LORD POLONIUS	And the queen too, and that presently.
HAMLET	Bid the players make haste.
[Exit POLONIUS]
	Will you two help to hasten them?	50
GUILDENSTERN	We will, my lord.

[Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN]

HAMLET	What ho! Horatio!
[Enter HORATIO]
HORATIO	Here, sweet lord, at your service.
HAMLET	Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man
	As e'er my conversation coped withal.	55
HORATIO	O, my dear lord,––
HAMLET	Nay, do not think I flatter;
	For what advancement may I hope from thee
	That no revenue hast but thy good spirits,
	To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flatter'd?	60
	No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp,
	And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee
	Where thrift may follow fawning. Dost thou hear?
	Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice
	And could of men distinguish, her election	65
	Hath seal'd thee for herself; for thou hast been
	As one, in suffering all, that suffers nothing,
	A man that fortune's buffets and rewards
	Hast ta'en with equal thanks: and blest are those
	Whose blood and judgment are so well commingled,	70
	That they are not a pipe for fortune's finger
	To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
	That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
	In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart,
	As I do thee.––Something too much of this.––	75
	There is a play to–night before the king;
	One scene of it comes near the circumstance
	Which I have told thee of my father's death:
	I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,
	Even with the very comment of thy soul	80
	Observe mine uncle: if his occulted guilt
	Do not itself unkennel in one speech,
	It is a damned ghost that we have seen,
	And my imaginations are as foul
	As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful note;	85
	For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,
	And after we will both our judgments join
	In censure of his seeming.
HORATIO	Well, my lord:
	If he steal aught the whilst this play is playing,	90
	And 'scape detecting, I will pay the theft.
HAMLET	They are coming to the play; I must be idle:
	Get you a place.

[ Danish march. A flourish. Enter KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE, POLONIUS, OPHELIA, ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and others ]

KING CLAUDIUS	How fares our cousin Hamlet?
HAMLET	Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish: I eat	95
	the air, promise–crammed: you cannot feed capons so.
KING CLAUDIUS	I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet; these words
	are not mine.
HAMLET	No, nor mine now.
[To POLONIUS]
	My lord, you played once i' the university, you say?	100
LORD POLONIUS	That did I, my lord; and was accounted a good actor.
HAMLET	What did you enact?
LORD POLONIUS	I did enact Julius Caesar: I was killed i' the
	Capitol; Brutus killed me.
HAMLET	It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf	105
	there. Be the players ready?
ROSENCRANTZ	Ay, my lord; they stay upon your patience.
QUEEN GERTRUDE	Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.
HAMLET	No, good mother, here's metal more attractive.
LORD POLONIUS	[To KING CLAUDIUS]�O, ho! do you mark that?	110
HAMLET	Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

[Lying down at OPHELIA's feet]

OPHELIA	No, my lord.
HAMLET	I mean, my head upon your lap?
OPHELIA	Ay, my lord.
HAMLET	Do you think I meant country matters?	115
OPHELIA	I think nothing, my lord.
HAMLET	That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.
OPHELIA	What is, my lord?
HAMLET	Nothing.
OPHELIA	You are merry, my lord.	120
HAMLET	Who, I?
OPHELIA	Ay, my lord.
HAMLET	O God, your only jig–maker. What should a man do
	but be merry? for, look you, how cheerfully my
	mother looks, and my father died within these two hours.	125
OPHELIA	Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.
HAMLET	So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for
	I'll have a suit of sables. O heavens! die two
	months ago, and not forgotten yet? Then there's
	hope a great man's memory may outlive his life half	130
	a year: but, by'r lady, he must build churches,
	then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with
	the hobby–horse, whose epitaph is 'For, O, for, O,
	the hobby–horse is forgot.'

[Hautboys play. The dumb–show enters][ Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly; the Queen embracing him, and he her. She kneels, and makes show of protestation unto him. He takes her up, and declines his head upon her neck: lays him down upon a bank of flowers: she, seeing him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his crown, kisses it, and pours poison in the King's ears, and exit. The Queen returns; finds the King dead, and makes passionate action. The Poisoner, with some two or three Mutes, comes in again, seeming to lament with her. The dead body is carried away. The Poisoner wooes the Queen with gifts: she seems loath and unwilling awhile, but in the end accepts his love. ]

[Exeunt]
OPHELIA	What means this, my lord?	135
HAMLET	Marry, this is miching mallecho; it means mischief.
OPHELIA	Belike this show imports the argument of the play.
[Enter Prologue]
HAMLET	We shall know by this fellow: the players cannot
	keep counsel; they'll tell all.
OPHELIA	Will he tell us what this show meant?	140
HAMLET	Ay, or any show that you'll show him: be not you
	ashamed to show, he'll not shame to tell you what it means.
OPHELIA	You are naught, you are naught: I'll mark the play.
Prologue	For us, and for our tragedy,
	Here stooping to your clemency,	145
	We beg your hearing patiently.
[Exit]
HAMLET	Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?
OPHELIA	Tis brief, my lord.
HAMLET	As woman's love.
[Enter two Players, King and Queen]
Player King	Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round	150
	Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground,
	And thirty dozen moons with borrow'd sheen
	About the world have times twelve thirties been,
	Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands
	Unite commutual in most sacred bands.	155
Player Queen	So many journeys may the sun and moon
	Make us again count o'er ere love be done!
	But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,
	So far from cheer and from your former state,
	That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,	160
	Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must:
	For women's fear and love holds quantity;
	In neither aught, or in extremity.
	Now, what my love is, proof hath made you know;
	And as my love is sized, my fear is so:	165
	Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;
	Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.
Player King	Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too;
	My operant powers their functions leave to do:
	And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,	170
	Honour'd, beloved; and haply one as kind
	For husband shalt thou––
Player Queen	O, confound the rest!
	Such love must needs be treason in my breast:
	In second husband let me be accurst!	175
	None wed the second but who kill'd the first.
HAMLET	[Aside]�Wormwood, wormwood.
Player Queen	The instances that second marriage move
	Are base respects of thrift, but none of love:
	A second time I kill my husband dead,	180
	When second husband kisses me in bed.
Player King	I do believe you think what now you speak;
	But what we do determine oft we break.
	Purpose is but the slave to memory,
	Of violent birth, but poor validity;	185
	Which now, like fruit unripe, sticks on the tree;
	But fall, unshaken, when they mellow be.
	Most necessary 'tis that we forget
	To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt:
	What to ourselves in passion we propose,	190
	The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
	The violence of either grief or joy
	Their own enactures with themselves destroy:
	Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;
	Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.	195
	This world is not for aye, nor 'tis not strange
	That even our loves should with our fortunes change;
	For 'tis a question left us yet to prove,
	Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
	The great man down, you mark his favourite flies;	200
	The poor advanced makes friends of enemies.
	And hitherto doth love on fortune tend;
	For who not needs shall never lack a friend,
	And who in want a hollow friend doth try,
	Directly seasons him his enemy.	205
	But, orderly to end where I begun,
	Our wills and fates do so contrary run
	That our devices still are overthrown;
	Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own:
	So think thou wilt no second husband wed;	210
	But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.
Player Queen	Nor earth to me give food, nor heaven light!
	Sport and repose lock from me day and night!
	To desperation turn my trust and hope!
	An anchor's cheer in prison be my scope!	215
	Each opposite that blanks the face of joy
	Meet what I would have well and it destroy!
	Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife,
	If, once a widow, ever I be wife!
HAMLET	If she should break it now!	220
Player King	Tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here awhile;
	My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile
	The tedious day with sleep.
[Sleeps]
Player Queen	Sleep rock thy brain,
	And never come mischance between us twain!	225
[Exit]
HAMLET	Madam, how like you this play?
QUEEN GERTRUDE	The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
HAMLET	O, but she'll keep her word.
KING CLAUDIUS	Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in 't?
HAMLET	No, no, they do but jest, poison in jest; no offence	230
	i' the world.
KING CLAUDIUS	What do you call the play?
HAMLET	The Mouse–trap. Marry, how? Tropically. This play
	is the image of a murder done in Vienna: Gonzago is
	the duke's name; his wife, Baptista: you shall see	235
	anon; 'tis a knavish piece of work: but what o'
	that? your majesty and we that have free souls, it
	touches us not: let the galled jade wince, our
	withers are unwrung.
[Enter LUCIANUS]
	This is one Lucianus, nephew to the king.	240
OPHELIA	You are as good as a chorus, my lord.
HAMLET	I could interpret between you and your love, if I
	could see the puppets dallying.
OPHELIA	You are keen, my lord, you are keen.
HAMLET	It would cost you a groaning to take off my edge.	245
OPHELIA	Still better, and worse.
HAMLET	So you must take your husbands. Begin, murderer;
	pox, leave thy damnable faces, and begin. Come:
	the croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.'
LUCIANUS	Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time agreeing;	250
	Confederate season, else no creature seeing;
	Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected,
	With Hecate's ban thrice blasted, thrice infected,
	Thy natural magic and dire property,
	On wholesome life usurp immediately.	255

[Pours the poison into the sleeper's ears]

HAMLET	He poisons him i' the garden for's estate. His
	name's Gonzago: the story is extant, and writ in
	choice Italian: you shall see anon how the murderer
	gets the love of Gonzago's wife.
OPHELIA	The king rises.	260
HAMLET	What, frighted with false fire!
QUEEN GERTRUDE	How fares my lord?
LORD POLONIUS	Give o'er the play.
KING CLAUDIUS	Give me some light: away!
All	Lights, lights, lights!	265
[Exeunt all but HAMLET and HORATIO]
HAMLET	Why, let the stricken deer go weep,
	The hart ungalled play;
	For some must watch, while some must sleep:
	So runs the world away.
	Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers–– if	270
	the rest of my fortunes turn Turk with me––with two
	Provincial roses on my razed shoes, get me a
	fellowship in a cry of players, sir?
HORATIO	Half a share.
HAMLET	A whole one, I.	275
	For thou dost know, O Damon dear,
	This realm dismantled was
	Of Jove himself; and now reigns here
	A very, very––pajock.
HORATIO	You might have rhymed.	280
HAMLET	O good Horatio, I'll take the ghost's word for a
	thousand pound. Didst perceive?
HORATIO	Very well, my lord.
HAMLET	Upon the talk of the poisoning?
HORATIO	I did very well note him.	285
HAMLET	Ah, ha! Come, some music! come, the recorders!
	For if the king like not the comedy,
	Why then, belike, he likes it not, perdy.
	Come, some music!

[Re–enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN]

GUILDENSTERN	Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with you.	290
HAMLET	Sir, a whole history.
GUILDENSTERN	The king, sir,––
HAMLET	Ay, sir, what of him?
GUILDENSTERN	Is in his retirement marvellous distempered.
HAMLET	With drink, sir?	295
GUILDENSTERN	No, my lord, rather with choler.
HAMLET	Your wisdom should show itself more richer to
	signify this to his doctor; for, for me to put him
	to his purgation would perhaps plunge him into far
	more choler.	300
GUILDENSTERN	Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame and
	start not so wildly from my affair.
HAMLET	I am tame, sir: pronounce.
GUILDENSTERN	The queen, your mother, in most great affliction of
	spirit, hath sent me to you.	305
HAMLET	You are welcome.
GUILDENSTERN	Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the right
	breed. If it shall please you to make me a
	wholesome answer, I will do your mother's
	commandment: if not, your pardon and my return	310
	shall be the end of my business.
HAMLET	Sir, I cannot.
GUILDENSTERN	What, my lord?
HAMLET	Make you a wholesome answer; my wit's diseased: but,
	sir, such answer as I can make, you shall command;	315
	or, rather, as you say, my mother: therefore no
	more, but to the matter: my mother, you say,––
ROSENCRANTZ	Then thus she says; your behavior hath struck her
	into amazement and admiration.
HAMLET	O wonderful son, that can so astonish a mother! But	320
	is there no sequel at the heels of this mother's
	admiration? Impart.
ROSENCRANTZ	She desires to speak with you in her closet, ere you
	go to bed.
HAMLET	We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have	325
	you any further trade with us?
ROSENCRANTZ	My lord, you once did love me.
HAMLET	So I do still, by these pickers and stealers.
ROSENCRANTZ	Good my lord, what is your cause of distemper? you
	do, surely, bar the door upon your own liberty, if	330
	you deny your griefs to your friend.
HAMLET	Sir, I lack advancement.
ROSENCRANTZ	How can that be, when you have the voice of the king
	himself for your succession in Denmark?
HAMLET	Ay, but sir, 'While the grass grows,'––the proverb	335
	is something musty.

[Re–enter Players with recorders]

	O, the recorders! let me see one. To withdraw with
	you:––why do you go about to recover the wind of me,
	as if you would drive me into a toil?
GUILDENSTERN	O, my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love is too	340
	unmannerly.
HAMLET	I do not well understand that. Will you play upon
	this pipe?
GUILDENSTERN	My lord, I cannot.
HAMLET	I pray you.	345
GUILDENSTERN	Believe me, I cannot.
HAMLET	I do beseech you.
GUILDENSTERN	I know no touch of it, my lord.
HAMLET	Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with
	your lingers and thumb, give it breath with your	350
	mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music.
	Look you, these are the stops.
GUILDENSTERN	But these cannot I command to any utterance of
	harmony; I have not the skill.
HAMLET	Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of	355
	me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know
	my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my
	mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to
	the top of my compass: and there is much music,
	excellent voice, in this little organ; yet cannot	360
	you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am
	easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what
	instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you
	cannot play upon me.
[Enter POLONIUS]
	God bless you, sir!	365
LORD POLONIUS	My lord, the queen would speak with you, and
	presently.
HAMLET	Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?
LORD POLONIUS	By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed.
HAMLET	Methinks it is like a weasel.	370
LORD POLONIUS	It is backed like a weasel.
HAMLET	Or like a whale?
LORD POLONIUS	Very like a whale.
HAMLET	Then I will come to my mother by and by. They fool
	me to the top of my bent. I will come by and by.	375
LORD POLONIUS	I will say so.
HAMLET	By and by is easily said.
[Exit POLONIUS]
	Leave me, friends.
[Exeunt all but HAMLET]
	Tis now the very witching time of night,
	When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out	380
	Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,
	And do such bitter business as the day
	Would quake to look on. Soft! now to my mother.
	O heart, lose not thy nature; let not ever
	The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom:	385
	Let me be cruel, not unnatural:
	I will speak daggers to her, but use none;
	My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites;
	How in my words soever she be shent,
	To give them seals never, my soul, consent!	390
[Exit]